Balancing love and independence can be tricky in some relationships. 

Sometimes a relationship can consume your life, and confidence gets lost just trying not to rock the boat.

One spouse will expect control; continuously discouraging you to try to condition you to fit some custom mold they made up in their mind.  If your interests and goals swallow up too much time, your at risk of losing their acceptance and gaining their bitter side.

Jealousy, fear, and poor self esteem lead a person to act irrationally.  When your feeling low because they put you down once again, remind yourself that they are the weak one.  They are taking advantage of a good heart. Losing you is part of their weakness and when they rear their ugliness at you, see it for what it is.

You can tell them till your blue in the face how you feel.  Unfortunately they lack the accountability to accept you as an individual.  Having control in a relationship should never be the goal.  A relationship is supposed to work like a team.  If everyone on the team did the same exact things, accomplishments would halt. We are all different for a reason and shouldn’t be punished for that.

Your more than just this relationship. Don’t consider dulling your shine just because they doesn’t accept you for who you are.  Recognize toxic behavior and dont feed into it.  People treat you how you allow them to.  Start off a relationship with clear boundaries and stay firm about them.  Respect is a minimum requirement for a healthy relationship. 

Do to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You are not like them.  There may be similarities between two spouses, but the differences are what make you an individual.  Your differences contribute to you being a power couple.

Regardless of anything else, if your not able to be yourself in your relationship, maybe its time to move on sooner than later.  Time doesn’t stop just because they want to water you down. Without them who are you? Do you even know anymore?  It’s harder to find yourself once your lost, than it is to lose the one that is causing it.

Love yourself, be yourself and if you find that to be hard, figure out why and seek your independence. Don’t lose your sparkle just because it makes someone else uncomfortable.  Especially when if the shoe was on the other foot, they wouldn’t have taken your shit to begin with.